Sunday, April 12, 2009

A life little less complicated

For a year now, I have been in a beautiful relationship.
A relationship a lot different from the previous ones I had.

I have been in two relationships in the past that has not treated me exactly the right way, or should I say the way I think I deserved to be treated. Two psuedo-relationships that had been a difficult part of my life. Everytime I think about it again, it still hurts that I had to go through with the pain, the confusion and the pretension. It was hard to be the "2nd" girl, hard to be the girl they would never introduce to their parents, the girl not worthy of commitment. Those memories never fails to hurt me. Honestly, hurt is an understatement of what I felt back then.

During those days, I believed that I was unlovable, that I did not deserve commitment from any guy, that i was not enough for anyone to love. I was more convinced that it was my fate, when the 2nd guy came. I was on the brink of surrendering to the situation.. just to get him to love me.. I was consenting to be an OPTION:the 2nd girl.

Then a light of hope came to me. UNEXPECTED.
I was never looking for another guy, I wasnt even interested.
I guess God answered my prayers.
He gave me someone who can see a beautiful and deeper side of me.

He came. He was cute, i admit it.
He was MY TYPE.

Unfortunately, I was on the verge of accepting I was just good enough to be the 2nd girl.
So I didnt pay too much attention.
As i always say to him now, I WAS JUST BEING NICE TO HIM.

Good thing he still made his way to my heart. With his charming looks, his unbelievably cute smile, his dreams for his family and others, for the way he looked at me like I was the nicest thing on earth. He made me feel so loved, a feeling I have never felt before.

Though it seemed like a fairytale, our story was never smooth and calm.
Before we even became a couple, I had to confront someone from my past. I was confused. I didnt want to hurt anyone. I was willing to hurt myself rather than to hurt them. I thought it was the right thing to do, but guess what this guy told me that what i would do would still hurt three people. However noble or martyr what i was about to do seem like, it would inevitably hurt someone. He taught me to choose, to choose for what i know is best for me.. TO CHOOSE WHAT MY HEART TELLS ME..

I know my heart is a good and smart heart. So, i trusted my heart and the love he offers me.

For a year now, my life is STILL COMPLICATED. Still full of troubles, confusions and pains. Nothing has really changed much..

Nothing except that now i hold in my heart
the person God has sent me,
the person who loves me even at my ugliest,
the person who laughs at my mistakes and bloopers,
the person who can make my temper go sky high but still can make me laugh the hardest,
the person who inspires me to become better,
the person who looks at me lovingly everyday,
the person who appreciates my little nose, and my frail body,
the person who thinks im the hottest thing next to the sun,:)
the person who committed to me and promised me that i am his only love,
the person who has completed my life,

and that person has made every journey of my life a little less complicated.

That person is the love of my life, KEENE ANTOLM BENEDIQUE V. CALIPARA.

This may be too late to be an anniv gift but hey, everyday spent with you is a celebration. I hope you realize how great a person you are.:)



Anonymous said...

ngaun ko lang uli navisit tong blog mo.. happy to hear your life is little less complicated right now. :) im happy na you CHOOSE TO BE HAPPY. and lastly, im happy na you realized how lovable and "hottest thing next to the sun" you are. :) keep smiling!

Keene said...

How should I begin? It is my first time to post a blog or a comment. I never thought of doing this.

I am Keene Antolm Benedique V. Calipara. I am the lucky guy that this wonderful woman mentioned in her blog. It has been more than a year since the blog was posted. I was so blessed that such beautiful person decided to write how happy she was (is) when she met me.

The story of how our relationship started was true. Honestly, I thought she was not that interested in me. But I thought wrong. She has loved me without conditions and loved me beyond my expectations.

We have been together for almost 3 years now. Yes, our relationship was never perfect. But our love for each other never faded and I could not ask for anything else. We were true and sincere. I never regret loving her. I have always wanted the kind of love that she offers.

For the past months, her love for me was very instrumental in making our relationship work despite the challenges that we encountered and are still facing. I was - am still- in a new stage of my life. Stress and temper were hard to control - more on my part actually. The negative aspects of each other's personality literally exploded into our faces. This led us to wonder and doubt what we have for each other.

But Her love was so persistent that it allowed us to transcend the difficulties that we never expected - or imagined that we could bring to each other. I have failed her many times, but she still believed in me.

I really want to avoid disappointing her. I really do love her, but as our relationship progresses, new struggles arise. I believe in us. I know she loves me. I know I love her so much. Our relationship may not be perfect, but I still consider it as the ideal relationship. With her, anything can be conquered.

She is my most desired partner... the person I have always prayed and dreamed of. She motivates me alot to explore my talents and to be the very best that I can be. She believes in me. She loves me. She is perfect for me.

I may sometimes fail to recognize or compliment her, but I am always proud of her... Her achievements as a great mentor and teacher to her students... Her dedication and love for her country... Her loyalty to her friends and family... and Her simple happiness of being her. I am her greatest fan. She ultimately is the "hottest thing next to the sun".

I will always love you Jhoanna Paula S. Espiritu. THE WORLD SHOULD KNOW that you have always been great to me. You have accepted and helped me improve my shortcomings. You love me like no other else will. I am happy with you. I know I will always be happy with you. IT HAS ALWAYS BEEN AND WILL ALWAYS BE " A LIFE LESS COMPLICATED" WITH YOU!!!