Friday, June 22, 2007

past time girl

I just read a blog from a friend about hurting over a break up and it seems I feel the same pain. Im not actually in a relationship or mending a broken heart or loving someone in silence but that I've been there and the feeling sucks.


Wednesday, June 20, 2007

Questions

I received an email last June 19, 2007 about a job opportunity for some NGO. For some unknown reason i just read it today. I thought it was a hoax mail so i did not bother to read it at all. So why did i read it today? Coz i had no choice i wasn't doing anything so i said what the heck, just read on it.

After reading I replied without hesitation. I was interested to apply for it and I even had my mind set on it. It was a great opportunity for me to do what i want to do and maybe, go abroad. I was so excited becuase for one, I was referred to by his personal friend from AIM and second, the work was exactly the same with what I am doing now.

But the bad news came. They needed someone for the position immediately. They couldnt wait for my contract to end before hiring me. I couldnt do anything, so i had to thank the person for considering me and letting the opportunity go away.

I am so disappointed till now. The job would have been mine if i wasnt doing anything, if only i was free of any contracts. I would have made my mom and dad proud coz I'll have the chance to work abroad. I wanted to cry, i wanted to shout and breakdown.. but then it was too exagerrated for me. TOO MUCH DRAMA. I couldnt do anything coz i cant just go and leave my other work for a new one. It was against my principles. I am going to finish what I have started and im sticking to it.

i even came to the point of questioning Kuya Jess. Why give me something i cant have? Why put me in a situation that i cant get my way? Why cant i have all?

I want to get away and find a job somewhere else. I want a new life. Life that i can experience outside Philippines or if its too big of a dream, then outside Manila. I want to do development work althoug it doesnt pay a lot. The job description fits me perfectly. I have no problem going away or traveling for work..


But then again at the end of the day, i couldnt have the job. It wasnt for me, although i wanted it Kuya Jess will reveal everything in His time.

So there's nothing for me to do but to rant here and wait for His answers.Ü

Still all's good.Ü

Tuesday, June 19, 2007

commercial

pagod na ba ako talaga o sinasabe lang ng utak kong pagod ako?


actually, petiks lang ako sa work, wala gano ginawa except sa letters to participants na pahabol. pero other than that i did nothing...
all i did was surf the net, check my friendster, check other people's friendster, organize and comment on my multiply site and other people's site... i waited for 4pm so i could go to school for my class at 6pm.. had to walk to St. Francis square to buy shoes, coz my goddam shoes gave up on me. i couldnt risk falling in class so i had no choice but to buy a new pair. Damn..

Then i walked through Megamall to reach MRT. When i reached the platform, i was perspiring like hell.. damn, and i even had make up on, which makes things worst..

i almost fell asleep at the train coz i was feeling really tired and exhausted. Exhausted from the long walk and the heat of the sun. Then i had to ride the LRT for another 5-10 minutes to reach my destination...

the clock is ticking and im dreading it.. i feel so tired i feel like i wouldnt be teaching too good today...

i need energy....